on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
