she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
