If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
