Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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