just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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