Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
