I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
