umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
