i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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