My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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