Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
