Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So squirting runs in the family.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
