I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
