i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
