You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
