a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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