Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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