with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
