Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
