So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
