"it" just moved
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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