If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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