if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
