I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
