She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
