do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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