Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
