Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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