I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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