I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
