Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize