I could make wine with my vomit
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
