Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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