I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize