She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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