ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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