The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize