I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
