I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
