I hate your face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
