Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
