I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
