It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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