Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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