I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You are a genius and a whore.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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