We won't sleep together?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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