Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
