I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
