i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
