When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
