Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I believe in your delicious
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
