I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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