I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im part way to drunk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
