I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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