just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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