WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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