STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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