If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
