I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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