You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
