I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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