I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
